How to support the often-overlooked siblings of autistic children — and find community for your whole family
Growing up with an autistic sibling shapes a child's life in profound ways — many of them positive. Siblings of autistic children often develop exceptional empathy, patience, and an intuitive understanding of neurodiversity that serves them well throughout their lives. Many become strong advocates for disability rights and inclusion.
At the same time, the research is clear that siblings face real challenges that deserve attention. Families navigating autism often have significantly more demands on their time, finances, and emotional resources than other families. Appointments, behavioral challenges, meltdowns, and the constant work of advocacy can dominate family life in ways that leave less space for siblings.
Siblings may experience:
All of these feelings are normal. The goal is not to eliminate them — it is to ensure siblings have space to feel them, support to process them, and adults who are paying attention.
The concept of the "glass child" — popularized by Alicia Arenas in a widely-shared TED Talk — captures something real about what many siblings experience. Adults look through the sibling to focus on the child with greater needs. The sibling learns, sometimes quickly, to be invisible: to manage their own problems, to suppress their own feelings, and to not add to the family's burden.
Glass children often present as very capable and mature — which can mask their internal experience. Parents who are stretched thin may take their sibling's apparent self- sufficiency at face value, not realizing the cost. Over time, glass children may struggle to identify and assert their own needs, and may have difficulty in adult relationships where they are expected to take up appropriate space.
Awareness of this pattern is the first step. Some specific signs to watch for:
Research and clinical experience consistently point to several high-impact strategies:
Sibshops is the most evidence-supported sibling support program internationally. Developed by Don Meyer at the Sibling Support Project, Sibshops are peer support workshops for school-aged siblings of people with disabilities. They combine peer support, education about disability, and recreational activities in a fun, relaxed setting.
Sibshops give siblings:
To find Sibshops in Ontario, contact Autism Ontario, your regional children's treatment centre, or search the Sibling Support Project's directory. Online Sibshops are also available for families in areas without local programs.
Other options include individual therapy for the sibling (particularly if they are showing signs of anxiety or behavioral difficulties), family therapy that includes all family members, and online sibling support communities.
How you talk to siblings about autism should evolve as they grow:
See also: Autism and School | Ontario Autism Resources | OAP Eligibility
Research shows a range of outcomes for siblings of autistic children. Many siblings develop strong empathy, advocacy skills, and resilience. At the same time, siblings can experience increased stress, anxiety, behavioral difficulties, and social isolation. Family resources — time, money, emotional energy — are often significantly directed toward the autistic child, which can leave siblings feeling overlooked or resentful. These feelings are normal and valid, and should be acknowledged rather than minimized.
The term "glass child" describes children who grow up in families where a sibling has significant needs — including autism. The term reflects the idea that these children become invisible: adults look through them to focus on the child who needs more care. Glass children often feel pressure to be "easy," to not add to the family's burden, and to suppress their own needs. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and difficulty identifying and asserting their own needs as they grow older.
Key strategies include: dedicated one-on-one time with each sibling (even short, consistent intervals make a significant difference), validating and normalizing all emotions including difficult ones like resentment and embarrassment, giving siblings age-appropriate information about autism, creating sibling-only time that is not interrupted by autism-related demands, connecting siblings with other children in similar situations (through Sibshops or online groups), and ensuring siblings have access to their own adult support if needed.
Sibshops is the best-known and most evidence-based sibling support program. Developed by Don Meyer, Sibshops are peer support workshops for school-aged siblings of people with disabilities. They combine peer support with recreational activities in a fun, low-pressure setting. Sibshops are offered in many communities across Ontario and Canada, and there are also online Sibshops. Contact Autism Ontario or your regional children's treatment centre to find Sibshops near you.
Use direct, age-appropriate language. Avoid minimizing ("your brother is just a little different") and avoid catastrophizing. Explain autism in simple, concrete terms: "Your sister's brain works differently. She feels things more intensely than most people, and she communicates in her own way." Normalize the sibling's feelings, including difficult ones. Answer questions honestly, including "will my sibling always be autistic?" (yes — autism is not something that goes away). As children grow, revisit these conversations with age-appropriate depth.
Next steps
Verified Facts
87,692 — children are registered in the Ontario Autism Program
23.1% — 23,875 children enrolled in Core Clinical Services; 20,293 have active funding agreements ()
WHO recommends accessible, community-based early interventions for children with autism — timely evidence-based psychosocial interventions improve communication and social engagement
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